You're a Squash! Week 29

So it looks like you're about the size of a squash as we officially enter into the 3rd Trimester.  It's such an awesome experience to feel you inside your mommy's tummy.  I can't keep my hands off of it.  I'm sure you appreciate it when we keep poking you but it's so much fun to see you start kicking and moving around right after.  I think your mom and I are going to sit down pretty soon and start getting a game plan together for your nursery.  We really need to get a move on it as your mommy's shower is in 2 weeks and it would be nice to have it at least started so that we have a place for all of your stuff.  I think we are going with a zoo or jungle theme.  It's going to be so cool.

We see you little one

 I was going through the 3D ultra sound pics and thought I'd post my favorites.  A few of them are kind of weird looking but we got to see our little girl open her eyes and even yawn.  Here are a few of my favorites.

Trying to eat her hand

Smiling

Mouth Open

Sleeping

Yawning

Eyes Open

This one reminds me of an old man or woman face, LOL

Smiles

You, in 3D

Wow! It was so cool seeing you in 3D tonight. Your mommy and I were so amazed and excited to be able to see you wiggling around inside her tummy. We got to see you smile, yawn, and even open your eyes a few times. It was so awesome! We were getting a little anxious because you weren't moving a whole lot but toward the end you really started squirming. What's more, we even got to listen and record your heartbeat and put it inside a little stuffed giraffe. We can't stop listening to it. We are so excited to meet you. We both love you so much!

Love,

Daddy
XOXOXO

Little Kicks

I'm so happy right now because last night I felt you kick for the very first time. They were tiny little ones and they made me smile. I couldn't stop rubbing your mommy's belly too! This is so amazing. I waited for this day and I am so thankful and blessed that I was able to experience this. I love you and your mom so much!

Love,

Daddy
XOXOXO

Not being a good dad

The other day I saw an email from The Bump.com about the top 10 new daddy fears.  After reading this article, I found myself gravitating to one particular fear in general, Fear # 8: Not being a good father.  This is a very real fear for me and it's one that I'm scared to death about.

I know I wrote a few weeks ago about the gravity setting in about being a parent and what's at stake but I just can't shake the fear of being a bad father and it's getting stronger and stronger as time goes by.  There are situations currently in my life that make me second guess myself and just how good of a father I'll be.  I feel at times that who I am, what I do, my intentions, etc. are questioned and I'm afraid of carrying all that into the next stage of my life, fatherhood.  I'm trying everything I can to block out the negative self talk, the expectations of others, the doubt, and the pressure that I feel.  I'm trying to prepare myself the best way that I can and step up to the challenge but I am worried that my past experiences and failures and the fear of the unknown will determine my future success.

I have been looking back at my life lately and there are many times where I can see that I have failed and fallen short of expectations set by myself or even others.  I'm human, we all are.  We all make mistakes, do stupid things, say stupid things, act in questionable ways however, I feel like you can forgive yourself and be forgiven, then recover and move on from that in one way or another most of the time.  I couldn't however, forgive or be forgiven if I failed at being a good dad.  I'm afraid that I'll wind up blowing it through bad decisions, not having a clue as to what I'm doing, continuing to make the same mistakes over and over again, or even due to the family environment that she'll be raised in.  I'm afraid of things like that having a negative affect on my daughter and on who she'll be when she grows up.  It would be devastating.  Again, there have been many times where I screwed up things in my life however, that was my life.  Screwing up my child's life and failing as a father would be the worst thing I could imagine.  I didn't have a perfect family or perfect parents growing up but, I want to make sure that I give my daughter everything positive and good that I was fortunate to have.  I want to take all the good stuff from my parents and myself and pass that on to her.  I want her to say when she's older that, while I may not have been a perfect father, I did my best and was a good one overall.  I want her to say that, I want her mother to say that, and I want my family and friends to say that.  I don't want to be a failure at being a good dad for her.

I found this video and I thought it went well with this post.  It actually made me feel a little more at ease.

 

The Look of Love

Tonight I was sitting in the gym cafe waiting for my food and sitting at the table next to me was a mom with the absolute cutest baby girl I had ever seen so far (but, when you arrive, you will be taking her place as the cutest baby that ever existed!).  Anyway, I was just sitting there and this little baby girl kept flirting with me.  Every time I would look over at her she would just smile and  laugh.  She had the biggest dark eyes that I had ever seen and the look on her face was of pure love and joy.  It got me thinking about how good it will feel when I look at you once you are here.  There is just so much love that comes from a baby and you can always see it in their smiles and in their eyes.  I can't wait for that look of love that you will have for me.  Even though the baby sitting next to me was not mine, the looks that she was shooting me made my heart melt.  I wasn't having a great day today and none of that mattered at that very moment.  All I could think of was how innocent and loving this baby was.  Everything else just melted away with her smile.  I can only imagine how much more powerful that look is coming from your own child.  Now, what absolutely scares me with this look is that you will be daddy's little girl.  I'm going to have to build up a good defense over this look because I am sure that when you're older, it will be used against me ;-). You must understand the power that you will hold with that look.  It must always be used for good and not for mischief little one, remember that and remember it well :). 

To The Moon & Back

All For You

You have been on my mind all last night and all day today. I haven't stopped thinking about you or our family for one second.  I know that whatever happens, you and I will have an unbreakable bond and no one can take that away from us.  Writing to you has been the only thing that I have and everything that I have written, I have written for you.  I know deep in my heart that you can sense that I am out here waiting for you and that I love you and will always love you.  I have to believe that.  I know that mommy has read some of these posts to you and it makes me happy as I hope and pray that I won't be a stranger when we meet for the first time. I am hopeful for the future no matter what anyone assumes or says but, the only thing that I can cling onto for sure is that you and I will be a part of each others lives no matter what happens.  I can't wait until the day I become your dad.  That will be the first day of the rest of my life and I can't wait until it's finally here and everything becomes real for me. I would also like to thank your mommy for all that she has done with prepping you for your arrival.  I love you both

Love,

Daddy
XOXOXO

Life Lessons From Dad: Patience

Well, this lesson is one that I am being tested on at this very moment.  This is one that I am surprising myself on too. 

Lesson 3: Patience

One of the hardest things in life is to have patience, especially when things are beyond our control.  We all want the instant gratification, instant answers to our questions, and instant solutions to our problems.  Sometimes, patience is the key.  Having patience is key to keeping ourselves in check so that we don't do things that we regret or respond in ways that hurt ourselves or other people.  There will be many situations that you will face that will test your patience and a lot of those situations will be beyond your control.  The most important thing is to take a deep breath, keep a level head, don't jump to conclusions or make snap decisions without addressing all the facts, and give yourself time to think about how you can accomplish a task or overcome an obstacle or situation.  Take your time. Patience also pairs well with hope.  There rarely is a situation or obstacle that can't be overcome if you have hope in addition to a little patience.  Without patience, you might be driven to make assumptions, act irrationally, lose your temper, or jump into a situation without the full facts.  There will always be time, so be patient AND have Hope.  All things worth while in life take time and hard work.  Sometimes, when things are beyond our control at the current moment, if we just sit back, have a little patience AND Hope, and wait it out, an opportunity will present itself for the situation, task, or obstacle to be addressed.  Things do have a way of working themselves out but sometimes you have to be patient.
 
There have been many times where I have lost my patience and it's gotten me into a lot of trouble or has caused an issue to be magnified much more than it had to be. There have been times where I have been in too much of a hurry to accomplish a task or overcome an obstacle. Whatever situation may have arose, not having patience all led to the same results. Try to remain calm and patient and you will avoid a lot of the pain, hurt, and troubles that can arise.

You're a Rutabaga! Week 27

Holy cow, you're a rutabaga!  Ok, first off, what exactly is a rutabaga?? LOL.  So I get these daily and weekly updates from The Bump.com and I can't help but laugh each week when they say what type of fruit or vegetable that you're the size of.  It's just too funny :)  I guess we are now entering the 3rd Trimester and it's now a countdown to your big appearance in a few months.  Your mother and I can't wait.  Each night I think about you and imagine what life will be like being a daddy.  It's going to be a lot  of hard work but all the fun that we will have will make it all worth while.  It looks like your lungs should be developed and your brain is working.  That is so awesome!  Amen to the miracle of life!  According to the stats for this week you should be about 14"-15" long and averaging about 2 lbs too!  I love you.

Love,

Daddy
XOXOXO

Footprints In The Sand

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with the Lord.

 

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one beloning to him and the other to the Lord.

 

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

 

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me."

 

The Lord replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffereing,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
it was then that I carried you."

 

I remembered this poem and thought that it was very fitting to share.  Everytime that I read this it brings me to tears.  There is just something about this poem that is so moving to me.  I truly believe that God is with us and whether you believe or not, he is very much there with HIS love and strength to help us press on when we feel like giving up.  All things have a way of working themselves out, just have a little faith. 

Love,

Daddy
XOXOXO

My Promise

I want you to know just how much I love you so I want to make a promise to you. I will always strive to keep this promise no matter what and as best as I can at all times. I swear this on my life to you:

I promise that no matter what happens in life, I won't let you down at being the best father I can be.  I promise that I'll always be there when you need me and wherever you need me.  I promise that I'll move Heaven and Earth for you.  I promise that our bond will be unbreakable.  I promise to always love and respect you for who you are.  I promise that you can always come to me if you need someone to talk to or listen.  I promise to be a positive role model in your life.  I promise I'll never leave you. I promise to be strong for you. I promise to be gentle with you. I promise to never judge you. I promise to always protect you. I promise to always fight for you. I promise I would give my life for you. I promise to learn from the mistakes I'll make with you. I promise to always make time for you. And finally, I promise that you and I will have fun together and will create a lifetime of memories that we will always cherish.

All this I swear on my life to you little one.

I love you,

Daddy
XOXOXO 

Daughters Need Fathers

These were two of the articles that I stumbled upon last night while I was doing some poking around on the internet.  Reading articles such as these which emphasize the importance of a father in a child's life, especially in his daughter's, is really an eye opener into what's truly at stake.  These articles go hand in hand with what I've learned about a child's core belief system being established by the time they reach 5 or 6 years old.  It's important to be an active and supportive dad at every single stage in their lives.  I just can't believe that there are men out there that don't realize this importance or are absent in their child's life.  Who wouldn't want to step up to the plate and be a father and be a part of a life that they helped create?  I don't understand at all.  As for me, I can't wait to be a part of my daughter's life and I don't want to miss a single moment of it.  I'll be the best dad that I can for her and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that our bond will be a strong and healthy one.  The challenge has been excepted so Game On!

Articles:

Daughters Need Fathers, Too

The Father-Daughter Factor

Discovering a world of information on Fatherhood

Wow!! There sure is a ton of information and support out there for all of us future dads. I pretty much spent the entire night online discovering new blogs, websites, and purchasing some books from expectant dads, stay at home dads, single dads, and pretty much every other type of dad that's out there. It's pretty overwhelming the amount of information and advice out there specifically for dads. I also found quite a bit of information on the daddy-daughter bond which I found extremely interesting. It was a good feeling to get reassurance that my role as a father is a unique and very important one. With most of the focus being on mommy both during and after the pregnancy, It kind of seemed that the dads get overlooked. I know I was starting to feel that way. It was comforting to hear that my role as dad does matter. With all this new found information at my fingertips, I hope that I'll be better prepared for the things to come. I can't believe that in 3 months I'm going to be a dad. I just can't believe it! I really am starting to have a whole new outlook on my life and my future as a new daddy. I wasn't expecting this type of change this early on to be honest. I actually thought that it wouldn't happen until after I officially became a dad. I will say though, this change within me is exciting and refreshing!

Life Lessons From Dad: Love

Continuing with my little life lessons for you, I'm going to try my best to convey the message of Love.  Love is probably the greatest emotion, feeling, and act that we can experience.  Love can also be very complex and confusing.  I'll save the birds and bees kind of love for when you're older but, I thought I would try to summarize in general what the act or meaning of Love is the best that I can.

Lesson 2: Love

The most important thing that we can do in this world is Love.  Love comes in a variety of forms and intensities ranging from the Love of an object or activity to more personal forms of Love such as the Love of ones self, Love between a friend or family member, or intimate, romantic Love between two people.  Whatever form, Love can be summed up as kindness, respect, and compassion for all people and creatures. Unfortunately, as you grow older you may experience times where it will be hard to Love and easier to show anger or to be hurtful towards others.  You may also meet people who are not Loving towards you or other people.  Always remember that each and every one of us deserve to be Loved as we are all God's creatures.  Not a single one of us is above the other and doesn't deserved to be Loved.  Love your neighbors, Love your enemies, Love all creatures big and small for who and what they are.  If you can do this at all times, even when it is difficult, then you will be a messenger of Love. You can never know just how much an unkind word or action may negatively affect someone so always act with Love.  If you strive to Love when it is much easier to do everything but, you will help make this a more peaceful world and you will be spreading and sharing the joy of Love with others.  Love will help you remain positive.  Love can build and mend relationships.  Love can brighten someones day.  Love can influence and encourage.  Love can open up new doors, paths, and possibilities.  Always Love.

I know that there have been times where I have not succeeded in following this advice, again, I am not perfect, no one is.  There are many times when I let hurt and anger drive my responses and influence my decisions and that caused hurt for myself and others around me.  I encourage you to try your best to Love, even when it is hard to do so.  I'll close with a Bible passage which I feel does a much better job at summarizing what Love is and how we should all treat each other. 

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, 13

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
⁸ Love never fails...  
¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

You Are Wondefully Made

I found this Psalm verse for you the other day.  I want you to know that you are such a precious gift.  Out of love your mother and I helped make you and God did the rest.  You truly are a miracle!  We both love you so much.

Psalm 139:13-16

New International Version (NIV)

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.