Wow! It was so cool seeing you in 3D tonight. Your mommy and I were so amazed and excited to be able to see you wiggling around inside her tummy. We got to see you smile, yawn, and even open your eyes a few times. It was so awesome! We were getting a little anxious because you weren't moving a whole lot but toward the end you really started squirming. What's more, we even got to listen and record your heartbeat and put it inside a little stuffed giraffe. We can't stop listening to it. We are so excited to meet you. We both love you so much!
Love,
Daddy
XOXOXO
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Little Kicks
I'm so happy right now because last night I felt you kick for the very first time. They were tiny little ones and they made me smile. I couldn't stop rubbing your mommy's belly too! This is so amazing. I waited for this day and I am so thankful and blessed that I was able to experience this. I love you and your mom so much!
Love,
Daddy
XOXOXO
Love,
Daddy
XOXOXO
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Not being a good dad
The other day I saw an email from The Bump.com about the top 10 new daddy fears. After reading this article, I found myself gravitating to one particular fear in general, Fear # 8: Not being a good father. This is a very real fear for me and it's one that I'm scared to death about.
I know I wrote a few weeks ago about the gravity setting in about being a parent and what's at stake but I just can't shake the fear of being a bad father and it's getting stronger and stronger as time goes by. There are situations currently in my life that make me second guess myself and just how good of a father I'll be. I feel at times that who I am, what I do, my intentions, etc. are questioned and I'm afraid of carrying all that into the next stage of my life, fatherhood. I'm trying everything I can to block out the negative self talk, the expectations of others, the doubt, and the pressure that I feel. I'm trying to prepare myself the best way that I can and step up to the challenge but I am worried that my past experiences and failures and the fear of the unknown will determine my future success.
I have been looking back at my life lately and there are many times where I can see that I have failed and fallen short of expectations set by myself or even others. I'm human, we all are. We all make mistakes, do stupid things, say stupid things, act in questionable ways however, I feel like you can forgive yourself and be forgiven, then recover and move on from that in one way or another most of the time. I couldn't however, forgive or be forgiven if I failed at being a good dad. I'm afraid that I'll wind up blowing it through bad decisions, not having a clue as to what I'm doing, continuing to make the same mistakes over and over again, or even due to the family environment that she'll be raised in. I'm afraid of things like that having a negative affect on my daughter and on who she'll be when she grows up. It would be devastating. Again, there have been many times where I screwed up things in my life however, that was my life. Screwing up my child's life and failing as a father would be the worst thing I could imagine. I didn't have a perfect family or perfect parents growing up but, I want to make sure that I give my daughter everything positive and good that I was fortunate to have. I want to take all the good stuff from my parents and myself and pass that on to her. I want her to say when she's older that, while I may not have been a perfect father, I did my best and was a good one overall. I want her to say that, I want her mother to say that, and I want my family and friends to say that. I don't want to be a failure at being a good dad for her.
I found this video and I thought it went well with this post. It actually made me feel a little more at ease.
I know I wrote a few weeks ago about the gravity setting in about being a parent and what's at stake but I just can't shake the fear of being a bad father and it's getting stronger and stronger as time goes by. There are situations currently in my life that make me second guess myself and just how good of a father I'll be. I feel at times that who I am, what I do, my intentions, etc. are questioned and I'm afraid of carrying all that into the next stage of my life, fatherhood. I'm trying everything I can to block out the negative self talk, the expectations of others, the doubt, and the pressure that I feel. I'm trying to prepare myself the best way that I can and step up to the challenge but I am worried that my past experiences and failures and the fear of the unknown will determine my future success.
I have been looking back at my life lately and there are many times where I can see that I have failed and fallen short of expectations set by myself or even others. I'm human, we all are. We all make mistakes, do stupid things, say stupid things, act in questionable ways however, I feel like you can forgive yourself and be forgiven, then recover and move on from that in one way or another most of the time. I couldn't however, forgive or be forgiven if I failed at being a good dad. I'm afraid that I'll wind up blowing it through bad decisions, not having a clue as to what I'm doing, continuing to make the same mistakes over and over again, or even due to the family environment that she'll be raised in. I'm afraid of things like that having a negative affect on my daughter and on who she'll be when she grows up. It would be devastating. Again, there have been many times where I screwed up things in my life however, that was my life. Screwing up my child's life and failing as a father would be the worst thing I could imagine. I didn't have a perfect family or perfect parents growing up but, I want to make sure that I give my daughter everything positive and good that I was fortunate to have. I want to take all the good stuff from my parents and myself and pass that on to her. I want her to say when she's older that, while I may not have been a perfect father, I did my best and was a good one overall. I want her to say that, I want her mother to say that, and I want my family and friends to say that. I don't want to be a failure at being a good dad for her.
I found this video and I thought it went well with this post. It actually made me feel a little more at ease.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
The Look of Love
Tonight I was sitting in the gym cafe waiting for my food and sitting at the table next to me was a mom with the absolute cutest baby girl I had ever seen so far (but, when you arrive, you will be taking her place as the cutest baby that ever existed!). Anyway, I was just sitting there and this little baby girl kept flirting with me. Every time I would look over at her she would just smile and laugh. She had the biggest dark eyes that I had ever seen and the look on her face was of pure love and joy. It got me thinking about how good it will feel when I look at you once you are here. There is just so much love that comes from a baby and you can always see it in their smiles and in their eyes. I can't wait for that look of love that you will have for me. Even though the baby sitting next to me was not mine, the looks that she was shooting me made my heart melt. I wasn't having a great day today and none of that mattered at that very moment. All I could think of was how innocent and loving this baby was. Everything else just melted away with her smile. I can only imagine how much more powerful that look is coming from your own child. Now, what absolutely scares me with this look is that you will be daddy's little girl. I'm going to have to build up a good defense over this look because I am sure that when you're older, it will be used against me ;-). You must understand the power that you will hold with that look. It must always be used for good and not for mischief little one, remember that and remember it well :).
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
All For You
You have been on my mind all last night and all day today. I haven't stopped thinking about you or our family for one second. I know that whatever happens, you and I will have an unbreakable bond and no one can take that away from us. Writing to you has been the only thing that I have and everything that I have written, I have written for you. I know deep in my heart that you can sense that I am out here waiting for you and that I love you and will always love you. I have to believe that. I know that mommy has read some of these posts to you and it makes me happy as I hope and pray that I won't be a stranger when we meet for the first time. I am hopeful for the future no matter what anyone assumes or says but, the only thing that I can cling onto for sure is that you and I will be a part of each others lives no matter what happens. I can't wait until the day I become your dad. That will be the first day of the rest of my life and I can't wait until it's finally here and everything becomes real for me. I would also like to thank your mommy for all that she has done with prepping you for your arrival. I love you both
Love,
Daddy
XOXOXO
Love,
Daddy
XOXOXO
Life Lessons From Dad: Patience
Well, this lesson is one that I am being tested on at this very moment. This is one that I am surprising myself on too.
Lesson 3: Patience
One of the hardest things in life is to have patience, especially when things are beyond our control. We all want the instant gratification, instant answers to our questions, and instant solutions to our problems. Sometimes, patience is the key. Having patience is key to keeping ourselves in check so that we don't do things that we regret or respond in ways that hurt ourselves or other people. There will be many situations that you will face that will test your patience and a lot of those situations will be beyond your control. The most important thing is to take a deep breath, keep a level head, don't jump to conclusions or make snap decisions without addressing all the facts, and give yourself time to think about how you can accomplish a task or overcome an obstacle or situation. Take your time. Patience also pairs well with hope. There rarely is a situation or obstacle that can't be overcome if you have hope in addition to a little patience. Without patience, you might be driven to make assumptions, act irrationally, lose your temper, or jump into a situation without the full facts. There will always be time, so be patient AND have Hope. All things worth while in life take time and hard work. Sometimes, when things are beyond our control at the current moment, if we just sit back, have a little patience AND Hope, and wait it out, an opportunity will present itself for the situation, task, or obstacle to be addressed. Things do have a way of working themselves out but sometimes you have to be patient.
There have been many times where I have lost my patience and it's gotten me into a lot of trouble or has caused an issue to be magnified much more than it had to be. There have been times where I have been in too much of a hurry to accomplish a task or overcome an obstacle. Whatever situation may have arose, not having patience all led to the same results. Try to remain calm and patient and you will avoid a lot of the pain, hurt, and troubles that can arise.
Lesson 3: Patience
One of the hardest things in life is to have patience, especially when things are beyond our control. We all want the instant gratification, instant answers to our questions, and instant solutions to our problems. Sometimes, patience is the key. Having patience is key to keeping ourselves in check so that we don't do things that we regret or respond in ways that hurt ourselves or other people. There will be many situations that you will face that will test your patience and a lot of those situations will be beyond your control. The most important thing is to take a deep breath, keep a level head, don't jump to conclusions or make snap decisions without addressing all the facts, and give yourself time to think about how you can accomplish a task or overcome an obstacle or situation. Take your time. Patience also pairs well with hope. There rarely is a situation or obstacle that can't be overcome if you have hope in addition to a little patience. Without patience, you might be driven to make assumptions, act irrationally, lose your temper, or jump into a situation without the full facts. There will always be time, so be patient AND have Hope. All things worth while in life take time and hard work. Sometimes, when things are beyond our control at the current moment, if we just sit back, have a little patience AND Hope, and wait it out, an opportunity will present itself for the situation, task, or obstacle to be addressed. Things do have a way of working themselves out but sometimes you have to be patient.
There have been many times where I have lost my patience and it's gotten me into a lot of trouble or has caused an issue to be magnified much more than it had to be. There have been times where I have been in too much of a hurry to accomplish a task or overcome an obstacle. Whatever situation may have arose, not having patience all led to the same results. Try to remain calm and patient and you will avoid a lot of the pain, hurt, and troubles that can arise.
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